"Communication - It's Complicated"

That's the title of a guest column in the February issue of one of my newsletters. It immediately drew a question from a recipient: how can I comment on it? Well, not in the newsletter, but here is a repeat -- with ample opportunity to comment:

What's complicated about communication? You say what you want to say. The other responds. What’s complicated about that? Take the movie, It's Complicated, for example. For those of us who had the pleasure of seeing it, we may have noticed that Alec Baldwin's character was a bit narcissistic. Over and over he said to Meryl Streep, "I'm so happy." He mouthed the words to her across the room. He whispered them in her ear. Never once did he ask, "Are you happy?" Everything was all about him.

Now, you might say that's typical of movie versions of the male species. Perhaps. But, I'd argue that many of us place ourselves at the forefront of the conversation and forget the other person. When we meet someone at a networking event, what do we often do? Do we listen when the other people tell us their passions? Or, do we immediately jump in with our solutions to their problems? It's been my experience that we jump in with solutions even when we do not know what the problem is.

If Alec Baldwin had paid more attention to Streep's needs, desires and wants, perhaps he would have gotten the girl in the end.

The next time you find yourself in front of another person, challenge yourself to hear what that person is all about. Challenge yourself to make communication less about you and more about them. That way, it won't be so complicated!

Author: Joan C. Curtis, Ed.D.
Total Communications Coach

Education in Georgia

When I chose the “Education” breakout session as a recent IBM “Smarter Planet” event, my two topics of interest where professional development for women (having observed that women are interested in having it, but only if their employers pay for it) and global curiosity (having observed that not just Georgians but Americans in general are fiercely uncurious about other countries, cultures, languages, people, and global careers.

During the 2-hour discussion, the focus, however, was Georgia’s high school dropout rate; causes and possible remedies. In the process, I learned a few things.

In Atlanta schools, 65-70% of the teachers are “old”, have tenure and are not prepared for the 21st century, despite lots of training. Unions are to blame. Teachers want to be regarded as “professionals”, but unionization prohibits this image.

Top university graduates do not want to go into teaching; parental pressure: “We did not send you to college to become a teacher!” Teachers come out of the bottom 1/3 of college graduates.

Skills needed for the future: communications, how to think; today’s young people are on-line, but do not know how to communicate.

Inadequate education leads to crime, New York City, with a population of 8.8 million has 13,000 people in jail; Atlanta, with a population of 4 million, has 14,000 in jail. The recidivism rate is 40%. What can Georgia do better?

Young people’s attitudes need to change. Very few will become super athletes or rock stars. How about parental expectations? “Below the gnat line” (Augusta-Macon-Columbus), with the exception of Savannah, fathers still tell their sons that education beyond high school is not necessary: “I did well enough without going to college, and you can too!”

The topics I proposed? Professional education was barely touched on (only by a school system administrator, who said there is plenty of it, costs the system tons of money and delivers few if any noticeable results) and the necessity of educating our children so that they can compete for jobs with global counterparts was endorsed by only one of the other 15 or so people in the room. I had hoped to ask if the participants were aware of the “Two Million Minutes” documentary (http://www.2mminutes.com/), but the focus was so immediately local that the opportunity did not present itself.